The Trophy-Scoper: A Definition

A man my friends and I still jokingly refer to as POTUS (president of the undergraduate schmucks), initially he seemed like an intelligent, rather attractive young man.  He lived down the hall from me freshmen year and his main achievement was having attended one of the National Conventions that summer.  I thought he was potential dating material until I realized every other sentence out of his mouth revolved around his political aspirations and his oh so expert opinion of what his buddies over on The Hill were up to. He was the first of many that I would come to meet in DC - a Trophy-Scoper.

A denizen of the Washington, D.C. area (and I'm sure native to capitals all over the world), the TS is a common, yet very skillful beast.  These young men (and the occasional woman) spend their twenties searching for the perfect mate.  While of the same species as their Western counterparts, the Orange County Trophy-Scopers, the D.C. type is another breed entirely.

While the OC variety often seeks women 10 to 20 years their junior, with blond hair, big boobs and minimal brain activity, the District TS targets another kind of woman.  These men usually intern for congressmen, work for various government departments, or head college political organizations.  They comb through college co-eds and young professionals for a very specific set of attributes they think might aid them in their political career. 

TS Targets:

• Women good looking enough to be on camera (for the requisite campaign advertisement), but not so hot that other women might be jealous.  Must be able to produce attractive offspring! 
• Intelligent enough to hold a pleasant conversation at a fundraiser or read a stump speech, but unlikely to outpace her partner intellectually.
• Wants a bit of the spotlight, but has no real dreams or aspirations of her own.  
• Examples - Jackie O (sorry, I know she was a style icon and I respect her for that), Laura Bush, Cindy McCain (though she might blur into the West Coast variety). Arguably Michelle Obama, but probably not Hillary Clinton (sorry to pick on the first ladies, it's just easier to illustrate with them)

These attributes combine to make the perfect political partner, and ambitious men all over this city are searching for their own Campaign Barbie!

Signs you're dating a TS:

• The only dates you go on are to super random fundraisers or happy hours with the other office interns. 
• He really likes your pearl earrings and insists you "dress up" for every outing.  
• When you mention applying to law school he responds with, "But honey- I'll support us. You should really focus on us starting a family." 
• He starts to distance himself after you drunkenly tell him about your one month stint working at Hooters (you made the Calendar... he should be proud!)
• Not only does he have the most private Facebook settings known to mankind, but all his profile pictures feature him and an elected official.

Now I know this mythical creature may sound too strange to actually exist, but trust me ladies, THEY DO! .... some are just better at camouflaging than others. 

Much love,
D