Date Night

With the weekend fast approaching, we designate Thursdays to our relationship-reader searching for a weekend activity to do with their significant other.  Have one of those guys who can't ever seem to think of anywhere to go or what to do for date night (don't worry, Special K is a repeat offender)?  Take control of the situation and offer up some fun ideas, courteously supplied to you by your friends R & D.

Where: Great Falls National Park (click here  for directions and more information)
About a 15/20 minute drive from DC, Great Falls Park offers some beautiful scenery, picnic grounds, and a pretty romantic day trip.  At this time of the year, the fall foliage makes it look like the forest is on fire with color. 

  What to Do: Bring a blanket, and a picnic basket for lunch (but skip the wine since booze are not legally allowed on national park grounds), a football to toss around, and definitely don't forget your camera!  There are tons of trails all over the park, and ranger led tours almost every day. 

Know Before you Go: 

• Make sure and wear sneakers or closed toed shoes.  The paths are very well kept - but they'll destroy your feet in sandals or heels. 
• On really nice days there is often a line to get into the park, so be sure to gas up before you go!
• Entry to the park is $5 per vehicle, and cash is preferred... but the beautiful scenery and fresh air are totally worth it! 
• The park closes at dark.  We recommend bringing your lunch, hitting the trails, and watching the sun set over the rapids before heading out at dusk. 

On a Personal Note:  I am NOT a nature girl myself, but an afternoon at Great Falls is a nice change of pace from the standard show and a movie in the city.  Plus you'll probably get some great "couple-y" Facebook pics, your man will be impressed at your outdoors-iness, and there's always the option to sneak off into the woods to become one with nature, if you catch my drift!

Love from the Capital,

D

S-EX

It’s a timeless dilemma. It’s  1 am, and no one particularly noteworthy is hanging around the bar.  The only drinks you’ve managed to score were the ones you paid for yourself. That cute dude you were eyeing in the corner was eyeing another cute dude. Suddenly that $50 bikini wax on Wednesday isn’t quite the investment you thought it would be.

Before slinking home feeling humbled and vaguely rejected by the universe, there is one more option. A hefty double-edged sword of an option. The cell number you never got around to deleting despite your girlfriends’ warnings. 

The ex.

He definitely knows what he’s doing- this isn’t his first time at the rodeo. He also knows where you live, so no need for a walk of shame. Plus you know for a fact he’ll cuddle with you afterwards. As long as you’re both on the same page, it’s an easy solution to an otherwise lonely evening. No commitments required.

But one of you might have residual feelings. Or burgeoning terrible relationships with other people. Or brand new STD’s.  The choice is yours.

I’ll be honest, I’m definitely a double dipper. It seems like such a colossal waste to have trained someone only to let them loose over something silly like fighting or an inability to commit to a stable mental state. Those are clearly deal breakers when it comes to a relationship, but for a good roll in the hay? Not so much...

As a strong independent woman, I personally don’t believe in letting anything get in the way of some satisfying sex. And while my most recent ex and I were a horrendously dysfunctional couple in every capacity that involved speaking to each other - we have the most incredible sex. Between West coast liberalism and Midwest conservatism, it’s the one thing we could agree on.

And according to some thorough research done after a three-month break, we’ve still got that in common. 

So what do you think?  Is the sexual pleasure worth the emotional roller-coaster you might have to deal with in the morning?  Let us know at kissinginthecapital@gmail.com

Love from the Capital,

R

The Trophy-Scoper: A Definition

A man my friends and I still jokingly refer to as POTUS (president of the undergraduate schmucks), initially he seemed like an intelligent, rather attractive young man.  He lived down the hall from me freshmen year and his main achievement was having attended one of the National Conventions that summer.  I thought he was potential dating material until I realized every other sentence out of his mouth revolved around his political aspirations and his oh so expert opinion of what his buddies over on The Hill were up to. He was the first of many that I would come to meet in DC - a Trophy-Scoper.

A denizen of the Washington, D.C. area (and I'm sure native to capitals all over the world), the TS is a common, yet very skillful beast.  These young men (and the occasional woman) spend their twenties searching for the perfect mate.  While of the same species as their Western counterparts, the Orange County Trophy-Scopers, the D.C. type is another breed entirely.

While the OC variety often seeks women 10 to 20 years their junior, with blond hair, big boobs and minimal brain activity, the District TS targets another kind of woman.  These men usually intern for congressmen, work for various government departments, or head college political organizations.  They comb through college co-eds and young professionals for a very specific set of attributes they think might aid them in their political career. 

TS Targets:

• Women good looking enough to be on camera (for the requisite campaign advertisement), but not so hot that other women might be jealous.  Must be able to produce attractive offspring! 
• Intelligent enough to hold a pleasant conversation at a fundraiser or read a stump speech, but unlikely to outpace her partner intellectually.
• Wants a bit of the spotlight, but has no real dreams or aspirations of her own.  
• Examples - Jackie O (sorry, I know she was a style icon and I respect her for that), Laura Bush, Cindy McCain (though she might blur into the West Coast variety). Arguably Michelle Obama, but probably not Hillary Clinton (sorry to pick on the first ladies, it's just easier to illustrate with them)

These attributes combine to make the perfect political partner, and ambitious men all over this city are searching for their own Campaign Barbie!

Signs you're dating a TS:

• The only dates you go on are to super random fundraisers or happy hours with the other office interns. 
• He really likes your pearl earrings and insists you "dress up" for every outing.  
• When you mention applying to law school he responds with, "But honey- I'll support us. You should really focus on us starting a family." 
• He starts to distance himself after you drunkenly tell him about your one month stint working at Hooters (you made the Calendar... he should be proud!)
• Not only does he have the most private Facebook settings known to mankind, but all his profile pictures feature him and an elected official.

Now I know this mythical creature may sound too strange to actually exist, but trust me ladies, THEY DO! .... some are just better at camouflaging than others. 

Much love,
D

Pick-Up Place of the Week

The Place:  Tryst coffeehouse, bar and lounge (an improbable combo, I admit)
2459 18th Street NW; A few doors down from Madam's Organ

Who you go for: Grad students editing their thesis, men who work for [insert popular NGO], the occasional well-groomed hispter
What to order:  No matter what time of day you go, Tryst has something to cater to your tastes. From Belgian waffles and fritters, to quesidillas, salads and sandwiches, there's plenty to choose from.  They offer a full range of caffeinated beverages and a pretty interesting compliment of alcoholic drinks.  Try something from their "Parings" list to get an idea of their excellent menu and you won't be disappointed!
Why you should go: Tryst, as the name implies, has been known to be a place where people hook up (or at least exchange phone numbers). If the booze, dim lights, and hordes of attractive single people doesn’t make it easy enough for you, you can check out their website which has a sort of Missed Connections forum for patrons.  Communal tables make it easy to sit next to a lone cutie, and the Starbucks-like atmosphere makes it a great place to either study by yourself or scope out potentials with friends. 
A Success Story: Our good friend, Miss I, visits Tryst on a regular basis, and always seems to walk out with a story about getting hit on by at least one guy, if not more.  I attributed this mainly to the fact that Miss I is particularly good looking and a sparkling conversationalist.  But I visited myself, and low and behold- the place really was crawling with good looking artsy-types.  I came with a friend and we had to split up because the place was so packed.  After several hours, I'd had a lovely conversation with a boy from Boston, and my friend had given her phone number to a guy from the State Department.  
Check it out at: http://www.trystdc.com/

Know of any great places to meet rreasonably normal  men in this city?  Share the knowledge by emailing kissinginthecapital@gmail.com!

Happy hunting ladies!

We want YOU!

No really, we do!


Got any major gripes or funny anecdotes about what it's like to date (or not) in our nation's capital?  Need some anonymous advice from someone other than your sassy gay friend?  


Email us at kissinginthecapital@gmail.com with all the questions you have but are too embarrassed to actually google for yourself and we'll do your dirty work!  We'll also be publishing a "Lame Come-on of the Week" to chronicle the hilarious attempts at flirting by the interns, military men, and frat boys that populate this city.  Send us your stories and you could win prizes (such as a shoutout, make-up, or clothing certificates). 


We'd like to make this as interactive and informative as possible.  So have at it Washington, show us what you got!


Love from the Capital,
R & D

In the Beginning

As this is our first dual post, we thought it might be good to start with another first, a beginning, a genesis if you will. So without further ado,
In the beginning God created Adam and Eve (or not, depending on which spiritual beliefs you subscribe to - but work with us for the sake of the metaphor).  Unfortunately, Adam wasn't so great at pleasing his woman, a trait he has allegedly passed on to much of his progeny.  As a result, Eve and her descendants had to learn how to take care of business themselves, and now 3,000 odd years later, we've gotten a little bit of help.  


If you've never visited AdamEveToys.com, do so now.  Be forewarned, it's not the best site to surf when you're sitting at the front of a giant lecture, or at your congressional internship... but if you have some alone time, definitely take a look. Basically, the site offers a plethora of adult toys, which we firmly believe women should make more use of. During a discussion with several friends the other day, many admitted they had "never touched themselves down there" and thought the idea of a vibrator was "like so weird."  But we are here to tell you ladies- this is not the case!  


The use of a vibrator, dildo, or other type of masturbatory toy is completely healthy (especially if you have a long distance boyfriend or a touch of nymphomania after watching any movie involving Matt Damon).  These are not objects that should be shunned, but rather enjoyed by the female masses.  Using one doesn't make you "gross, weird, a slut, kinky" or any of the above things that our Protestant ancestors used to describe Hestor Prynne. When used correctly, they can be a healthy and pleasurable alternative to sex with a partner.  


For those who are wary, or just uninformed, here follows a description of several pleasure toys:


Vibrators
The pocket rocket, bullet, mini rabbit and massager, we love them all!  According to Wikipedia (hey, this isn't a term paper... it's totally cool if we use it) a vibrator is a device which can allow a woman to achieve orgasm faster and more effectively than with manual stimulation.  Some are double pronged to hit the clit and the vagina, some have cords, and some can be attached around the legs to leave your hands free for other activities.  Here at KitC, we are solidly behind the bullet.  Small, cordless, and battery powered, this little guy is perfect for beginners.  Best used for clitoral stimulation, you can achieve climax several times in one sitting if you so choose.  
Girls.. if you've never had a real orgasm, we strongly encourage you to try one out.  Sometimes you just need a little extra help to burst the dam and make your body realize what it's been missing. In my own experience, a little mechanical help every now and then actually makes orgasming with a partner much easier.  
Click here to check out our favorite model. 


Dildos
Now if you've never used a toy before, you probably don't want to start out with one of these babies. Phallic in representation, they can be used for vaginal, clitoral, or even anal stimulation. They can be great for use with a brave (and sexually confident) partner, and to hit your own G-spot.  If it's strictly for personal use, we recommend getting one that vibrates, as that's usually what helps one to achieve climax.    
We suggest this one, which provides length, girth, and some lovely vibrations.  


Being the pro-sexual women we are, we are constantly taken aback when girlfriends admit to never experimenting with themselves. "How can she possibly expect a boy to know what she likes if she doesn't even know?" Not to get too cosmopolitan on you, but masturbation is an important factor to understanding your own sexuality. We all know guys do it all the time, and we're here to tell you, women can too. 

It's also incredibly empowering to not need a man to take care of you in that capacity. Empowering and a major turn on for dudes (not the point, but an excellent cherry on top).  Penises are easy. They chill out on the outside, and are taken care of with literally a flick of the wrist. We know it, men know it. Women require so much more nuance in that department. Especially because every one of us has our own special kinks and spots. Being able to tell him exactly where and how is almost a guarantee that he will get you there. 

Besides, guessing games and wikipedia instructions are not nearly as fun. We can assure you of that. 

Love from the Capital,

R & D

Another glass of Merlot please....

I must agree to disagree with dearest D. Your first relationship says exactly as much about you as the lunch special you regularly ate at the highschool cafeteria says about you. Something you had a taste for at the time, but a footnote to all the great meals you've had since. But it's awfully early in this post to start throwing food metaphors out there, so I'll table that discussion for now. 

As a Chicago transplant to DC, I'm finding the culture of our capitol both entirely unsurprising (we didn't invent corruption, we perfected it for the evening news) and simultaneously alien (West Virginia). I'm enthralled by the daily politics of this city, but unlike I'm sure 90% of the people on my campus, have no interest in pursuing a political career of any capacity. I'd prefer to go for the "power behind the throne" route, especially since I'd never in a million years get security clearance at this point. Thus my internship on the Hill (which honestly, who doesn't leave DC with some freaking internship on the Hill? I swear to god I could be a fashion consultant and still land at least 7 different internships at the heart of our government. Chilling isn't it?) is not associated with any Congressman or Senators in particular. Although I meet enough on a weekly basis. 

My dating habits can best be described in a quote a dear friend wrote to me upon the eve of the breakup with a particularly "talented" hipster. 

"You're perpetually single. Even when your in a relationship you're single, like a black widow."

What can I say? Especially in the prime years of early 20's, I don't see the point in settling down with one person. It's like bringing a sack lunch to a buffet. I'd rather get a taste of everything. 

And then post every gory detail, of course. 

-R

An Introduction

Hello, I'm D. Pleased to meet you. 

Originally from the South, I moved from one big city to this one.  I'm a firm believer that your first relationship defines the rest of your dating life (this theory will be explained in more detail in another post I'm sure...), so I think it's only fair that you get a little snippet of what defines me.  

I started out as a nerd. A Harry Potter maniac, doodling with gel pens, loves to go to museum's- straight up nerd.  I grew up on a street with lots of boys, and rather than trying to woo them I just decided to assimilate.  Given this lovely combination (geek + tomboy) I spent all of elementary school and junior high with my hopes dashed by unrequited loves and crushed crushes.  Then puberty happened. I got boobs, and I got sassy.  I started searching for love outside of the kids I'd grown up with and known for 12 years and found that *miracle of miracles* some boys actually did like me.  

I won't bore you with all the gory details (yet), but during my high school years and the following summer I became what could at best be termed a "serial dater" (or in the opinion of some of my more prudish friends... kind of a slut).  Jocks, hippies, dancers, good 'ol boys, nerds and metal heads- I dated them all.  

Then I got to college, and after a few weeks of screwing around with various freshmen, frat boys, and the odd upperclassmen, I met him.  Special K (yes- it's a pseudonym).  Something clicked, and we've been dating ever since. However, all of the hard-won knowledge from my former prowling days still remained, and as a result I've become an excellent social flirt (to be defined later), a knit-picker of my friends' boyfriends, an outside observer of the treacherous glories of Singledom, and one badass wing woman.  

Or at least that's what I think...I guess you'd have to ask R. to know for sure.  

So here I am, teaming up with my best friend and sometimes ideological nemesis to help spread some dating gospel, and lend a compassionate and listening ear to all the perils of Kissing in the Capital.